Not my beautiful house

24 Oct

I am not a patient person. While I don’t consider this my fatal flaw (that would be a toss up between slovenly tendencies and my desire to live as a hermit), it is one that I am constantly wrestling with. The repercussions are easy enough to handle when they are a result of my own actions: I didn’t feel like waiting for leftovers to heat all the way through, and now they kind of taste like crap. But it is a familiar crap, one that I’ve created. One that I control.

My lack of patience becomes somewhat more lethal during external situations, like waiting for a late bus (aka, any bus in the St. Louis metro area), or waiting on results from a particularly old, particular slow piece of analytical equipment, or being on hold. My reaction is hardly an angry tirade, except occasionally at said piece of lab equipment. It’s more of a slow-building anxiety: I suppose I am just wired to fear the improbable, rather than dream the impossible.

I wish I could get more excited when a life-altering decision is in the works, but as soon as I let my guard down the doubt sneaks in, and before I can stop myself I’m living out the worst case scenario in my mind, making comprehensive plans to salvage the wreckage of whatever situation has collapsed so monumentally. I experienced this during the months before moving to St. Louis. All I could picture was showing up at school and finding out that there was some clerical error and I’d never actually been accepted.

And I am experiencing this now, with the potential purchase of a house looming on the horizon. We have a bid now on a house that is basically perfect, and while I haven’t really allowed myself to hope that we have the highest bid, waiting for the phone call from our realtor has been torturous. And I just know that lurking behind that euphoric news would be a whole new set of doubts: What if something happens to my funding? What if the inspector discovers a giant, mutant, brown recluse spider infestation?

Still, my excitement at owning a house vastly outweighs the doubts and the fears, as well as simply the annoyance of having to wait for that phone call. I love the idea of living in a home. I think this domestic impulse is what fuels my love of cooking, and somewhat freakish obsession with holidays. Even if this house doesn’t end up being “the one”, the ball is in motion, and there is a real, finite probability that I will be moving into a house by the end of this year.

Of course, I will allow the doubts to remain in the back of my mind, meticulously planning an escape route. They’ve had too many years of practice to be defeated by me now. However, in the front of my mind, I may be thinking a little about stained glass and sunrooms. And I may be hoping a little that I get good news tomorrow, but either way, at least the waiting will be over.

In the meantime, I’ve been doing some serious distraction-cooking. Here is a recipe for primal pizza! I also made a batch of jalapeno cheddar biscuits this week, which I have discovered are delicious sliced up and mixed with eggs, then scrambled migas-style.

Primal Pizza


From this recipe, which I cut it in half. It made enough for two, or one VERY hungry person.

Quick Tomato Sauce
Olive oil
1 large clove garlic, diced
1/4 onion, diced
2 Tbsp tomato paste
1-15oz. Can of tomatoes (I used fire-roasted with garlic)
Spices (paprika, oregano, basil, garlic powder, salt, pepper)
Ketchup or sugar
Balsamic vinegar

Baby portabellas, sliced and sweated
Mixed sliced peppers (I cheated and bought a huge bag of frozen peppers from Trader Joe’s)
Turkey sausage, sliced and browned (I used pre-cooked smoked apple sausage, also from Trader Joe’s. Looooove that store.)

Prepare the crust as instructed in the nifty video found at the above link. The crust does thicken a little as it cooks, so spread it out on the parchment paper to desired thickness (I will be making mine a little thinner next time).

While the crust is cooking for its twenty minutes (flip it at ten!), pour about a tablespoon of olive oil into a small pot. Once it sizzles on contact, add in the onion and garlic and cook until onion is just translucent. Then add tomato paste and 1/4 cup water and mix thoroughly. Then add the can of tomatoes and bring to a boil. Add copious amounts of all the spices; the only one to be really careful with is salt. Now taste the sauce. If it seems too acidic, add a little squirt of ketchup or some sugar. Keep tasting/adding until it is delicious. Take it off heat and stir in a dash of balsamic vinegar.

Okay, now I guess the twenty minutes would be up, so hopefully all the toppings are prepped! Put a thin layer of sauce down first. Make sure to use mostly tomato chunks and thicker portions of sauce, otherwise the crust may get mushy. Then add assorted veggies and meats, top with cheese, and place under the broiler until cheese is melty. Next, devour.

The crust stood up quite nicely. I was able to cut the pizza into quarters and hold the slices in my hand. The taste isn’t anything special though. I think my crust was a little too thick, because the texture reminded me of a soft cookie. It worked as a vehicle for delicious toppings though, and definitely satisfied my pizza cravings. Also on the side, I had some of these, which were AMAZING.


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